The Doc, Noah, Myself and Sharon

I know Sharon is dreading this, as am I. I know Noah is going to say things that will hurt her. Hopefully it will improve things for Noah to get it off his chest...
...I thought it went well (until my $@#&-up at the end, more later) Noah was not able to verbalize many of the things on his list and had to have a few read by me. Sharon really was extremely nice, respectful-what can you say, it's Sharon. She asked for alot of clarification and examples which Noah was not able to give, so other than his having the oppotunity to "be heard", it was less helpful to us than it could have been.

I don't remember all the issues (and we only got through half, so, once more next week, (also Tuesday at 9:45) but let me see...............Her tone of voice upsets him (teacher voice). He feels as if he's trying but it'll never be good enough. He feels like the expectations are too high. I said that he is still expected to do family things with us but could occasionally opt out. Bad idea. Oops. I thought based on currently opting out on everything, doing most of what we do but asking to be let off the hook periodically might be OK.

It seems there were one or two more. I'll try to get the list and post it after the next session. Toward the end, I tried to write down things after each item on his list saying what the expectations might be or what we might change to help him. At the end, I said something to the effect that we would try to change what we could...meaning first, expectations and tone of voice,
but also only what we actually would be willing to. Sharon freaked out after the meeting. Thinking I meant that we would change everything so the rules are different for him and that he would not be required to change at all, that we would go beyond what we think reasonable just to appease him, that I just gave in on a power struggle, that she was left without support to swing in the breeze and that I was not on the same page with her. Of that was not what I intended but it just made her feel kicked after being "beaten up" by Noah. I feel so badly but her feelings are so raw that I guess I should pick my words more carefully.